I Have a Man Cold. And I’m Not Ashamed to Admit It.


Yes, here is the truth.  I get so cranky when I get sick I make those wimpy men who don’t know how to take care of themselves when they get sick look like long-suffering martyrs.  I hate being sick.  I spent a huge chunk of my childhood fighting off one thing or another, missing a lot of school and a lot of fun, and now in my middle years, I resent having to miss MORE stuff!

Even if the stuff I’m missing is packing….

And when I get a cold, I get cravings.  For things like licorice… and jelly beans… and hot chocolate… and spicy fried rice with chicken… and this evening, I feel deep, deep need for a bowl of poutine.  Apparently that old saw about “feed a cold…” involves lots and lots of carbs.  Not a healthy thing in there.  Oh, I do drink juice.  I have gone through a bottle of orange juice, and a bottle of mango juice, and a tin of pineapple juice, and a bottle of blueberry juice.  I’ve been drinking so much juice & water I’ve been debating the purchase of Depends, just to cut down on the traffic.  Honest to Pete… I am very, horribly, cranky, and all I really want is to sleep for more than three hours at a time.

And some jelly beans.

My sinuses are stuffed, which has lead to a two day pounding headache (now easing finally).  My chest rattles so loudly someone should make a recording and use it a sound fx for a slasher movie… “As the beautiful young girl slowly dies….” and they play my chest rattle.  (Hey I said I was sick.  Maybe I’m also delusional.)  And my hands and feet are so cold you wouldn’t need ice to make martinis.  Not that I’m drinking, which is another reason to be cranky, because alcohol and OTC cold meds apparently don’t work together well.

For those of you who are going to tell me all about the joys and blessings of the nettie pot… I know.  I find a simple, upright, saline solution works just as well, and is less likely to make me feel like I’m drowning.  When you already feel like that, you don’t need to feel it even more!  But thank you for caring.  Now send licorice.

I just needed to share this with you… because I’m sick!  And I want jelly beans!  Making you take your temperature and stock up on tissues, just in case there’s a whole new meaning to internet bugs, helps me feel better.

Heh heh heh heh.

 

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One thought on “I Have a Man Cold. And I’m Not Ashamed to Admit It.

  1. I can vouch for grumpy with a cold… walk softly, carry sweets…
    Alcohol and OTC meds work perfectly well together. They help you sleep. Isn’t that why dad used to throw a shot of whiskey in the NeoCitran???

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