The Weird, Wild & Mildly Wicked Way in Which My Mind Works….


Today is my uncle’s birthday.  I went to bed last night thinking “remember to call Uncle Bruce.  remember to call Uncle Bruce”.  I woke up this morning thinking… “whose birthday is it today?” I’m calling him at supper time… Shall I offer your good wishes as well??

Also last night, or rather early this morning, I had a dream that I was back living at home & going to university (yes, I was one of those kids — who graduated with no debt and had the absolutely free use of a car through her entire undergraduate career; mama didn’t raise no financial dummies!).  John Wayne was in my hometown either making or promoting a new film; I’m not sure which.  Anyway, he walks into the bar where I’m pouring beer and making really good martinis and over the course of the evening, tries to seduce me.  Well, seduced me.  Yes, I know. John Wayne!  There could have been other movie stars my mind would choose… but nooooo.  I went with John Wayne.  And I didn’t mind one bit 🙂  (Are you singing ‘Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy”  yet??)

But here’s the best part of that dream — well, second best.  When I came home from John Wayne’s hotel, I looked across the street at our neighbour’s house to see Mrs Kramer sitting on the front lawn in a big, beautiful, puffy chair with Tim Conway and Betty White, also in big, puffy chairs, having a loud argument about who was funnier:  Carol Burnett or Mary Tyler Moore.  The thing is, when I woke up, and stopped laughing at the fact that I had a sort of sex dream about John Wayne for god’s sake… I started arguing with myself about who was funnier:  Carol Burnett or Mary Tyler Moore??!!

Grocery shopping over the past few weeks has been expeditionary. Before heading out, I read the flyers, I cut the coupons, I plan the meals for the week, and I go shopping.  As Jeff puts it, we’re poor but we’re eating rich because I do this planning and careful shopping.  And maybe it’s because shopping is so restrained that my mind wanders a little as I make my way up & down the aisles but last week, while I was out, I got to thinking about how wonderful it would be to just fly down the aisles and shovel things into my cart and not worry one whit about the cents per litre.  And wouldn’t you know it — that night I dreamt I won a radio contest that let me do just that!  Helping with rolling the empty carts into my life and the full ones up to the cash register line were all my nieces and nephews in the “second” generation (those 18 and under; the “first” generation is 23 plus) except for Miss Emily Anne who was reading somewhere.  Lukas, my godson and nephew, was particularly helpful, hollering at me “Aunt Dia!  Aunt Dia!  There are steaks left in the fridge!!  Don’t forget the steaks!”  I shovelled so much food into the multiple carts that Jeff had to go out and buy a giant freezer!!  Now that was a fun dream, John Wayne!!

Back to waking life: same shopping trip, popped into the drug store to pick up one thing and waited in line for, oh gosh, 2 years.  While I was waiting, I was greatly amused by the two small children squashed into the cart in front of me.  The boy was sucking a hard candy of some sort, which he would pull out of his mouth every now & again to look at, and then pop right back in.  And to clean his hands of sweet saliva?  He would rub his sister’s cheek… and hair… and sweater.  Both sister & mother were completely oblivious to this behaviour although I’m not sure why my strangled, choking laughter didn’t at least catch the mother’s attention!

Perhaps this also happens to you… but every now & then I will discover a book on my shelves, or on a table top, or sometimes on the floor that I haven’t read yet.  It’s sitting there, I recognize the cover, I know it’s been kicking around for a while and still somehow, it has escaped my reading habit.  Last night, shelved amongst the Simon Winchester books I found “The Map That Changed The World”.  Read about three chapters before nodding off and anxious to get back to it this evening.   I know I should have thought of geology as a science that needed to be “invented” before now but somehow… Anyway, like all Simon Winchester books, I am delighted to be reading his work.

Having watched the 60 second trailer for the newest Star Trek movie (coming out in May) about 20 times now, I have decided to name my next companion animal Benedict Cumberbatch.  My blog & twitter friend, ADogABroadAYear, informs me that there is a loosely organized group of women around the world called “Cumberbitches” — uber-fans of the British actor.  If you don’t recognize that incredibly wonderful & slightly bizarre name, he’s Holmes in the BBC incarnation of the Conan Doyle books that made such a huge splash a couple of years ago.  I have all six episodes in iTunes on my computer and whenever I feel… bitchy…. I will watch one. Or two. Or six.  Very odd looking really but, oh my. Very sexy, too.  Like all good Cumberbitches, I’m dying for the next round of Holmes stories to come out – sometime late in 2013.

Ah, back to real work now.  Thanks for the therapy of sharing…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Weird, Wild & Mildly Wicked Way in Which My Mind Works….

  1. mom leaving my car parked awkwardly on a busy street in Green Bay while she’s madly leafing through the phone book in a phone booth searching for Bart Starr’s phone number….
    my darling sister having a sex dream about John Wayne…. (really??? really?????)
    hopefully genetics stopped with sis – lol!!!

  2. Well Claudia, thanks to you I have to change my sweater before I leave for the hospital (multiple tests). 😦 I laughed so hard that I spilled coffee on myself! 😀 Oh, and for the record, I too finished university debt free, had the use of a car whenever necessary, like/d John Wayne and adore Mr Cumberbatch. ¿Something in the H20, (in honour of Mr. Bell), in KW or maybe at Cameron? (?¿ for Mr McPherson….)

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